Chapter Ninety-Four: Reality

The voices outside made the two people turn. When the little boy saw Hua Sheng’s appearance, he hid behind Xu Ge and his wife, peeking out with only one eye.

Doctor Yu Ran glanced toward the doorway and said, “Oh, they’re mother and son. The mother carries a recessive hereditary mental illness in the family line, so the chances of it appearing in her relatives are very high. The previous generation escaped it, but unfortunately it began with her generation. She once dug up centipedes from somewhere at home and kept them there, saying she was raising poisonous insects. She said that if they admitted her to the hospital, she would use those venomous creatures to kill everyone here. So she was sent here for conservative treatment. She stays for a while, and when she is stable she goes home and controls it with medication.”

Just then Hua Sheng saw Police Officer Zhang Yongren. The officer walked over again and spoke with the mother and son. Doctor Yu Ran said, “That’s the father.”

Hua Sheng said nothing.

“What a pitiful family,” the nurse said. “They once had a daughter too. She was beautiful.”

“A daughter?”

“Yes. The little boy is called Zhang Daoling, and he had an older sister named Zhang Weiyu. No one expected Weiyu to fall ill so terribly early; she was sent here when she was only sixteen.”

When Hua Sheng heard the name Zhang Weiyu, he hurriedly asked, “This Weiyu... do I know her?”

“You do. You two were especially close. You always said you were the reincarnation of the Monkey King, and she always said she had traveled here from the future. Your topics were all wildly fanciful, but whenever you were around, her condition was very steady. She would even go a whole month without an episode, just sitting quietly and listening to your stories.”

At that, the nurse wiped the corner of her eye. “The sight of the two of you sitting on the grass and talking made all of us feel full of hope. We always believed you would both recover.”

“Weiyu... where is she now? I want to see her...”

The doctors and nurses all fell silent.

“How is she now?” Hua Sheng pressed.

The nurse said, “Back then, Weiyu’s condition had stabilized. After the tests came back fine, her family wanted to take her home for a while. But with only the slightest lapse in supervision, that child jumped from the balcony.”

“When we heard the news, we all cried. She was still just a child, and the night she jumped was the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival. Her family was cooking sweet dumplings,” the nurse said with sorrow.

She opened the desk drawer and took out a photograph.

Hua Sheng’s eyes stung.

In the photo was Weiyu, draped in a pure white wedding gown, her youthful face wearing a shy, immature smile. She stood beneath the night sky, with several sky lanterns rising behind her, while in her hands she held a cake covered in birthday candles.

It was a girl so lovely and bashful she seemed beyond the reach of words. It was also the very moment that had made a boy’s heart race and drown in longing.

“Several days before leaving the hospital, it was your birthday. That day, Weiyu kept pestering her family to borrow a wedding dress. She had heard that the most beautiful moment in a girl’s life is when she is dressed as a bride. Though she still did not understand the meaning of marriage, she wanted to show you her most beautiful side. The dress she chose was one hoped to carry eternal devotion and endless years. The designer gave it a poetic name: Star-Years Gown.”

“To prepare for that day, Weiyu quietly made many sky lanterns from paper in the ward. After finishing each one, she hid it beneath the bed and covered it with the sheets so no one would notice. On your birthday, she called us to carry the lanterns up to the rooftop, then had us bring you up as a surprise. That night, the two of you released the lanterns together on the roof. This photo was taken that evening, before you arrived, by us for Weiyu. She said that truly living does not require a long time. The meaning of a lifetime is sometimes worth it if it is only a brief instant.”

Hua Sheng clutched the photo tightly. On the back were a few elegant words:

Remember it, and it has not come. Forget it, and it has not gone.

There is no forever in this world; only when an instant is turned into forever can one possess true eternity.

Doctor Yu Ran stepped forward and gently rested a hand on Hua Sheng’s shoulder. “You are a good child. You only sometimes cannot tell fantasy from reality. Slowly, you will grow used to it. All of this will pass.”

Hua Sheng suddenly remembered something and looked up. “By the way, Mie Ying...”

“You mean Miss Mie?”

“She’s here too?”

“Yes. She’s a patient here as well.”

“Like me, she was born with fantasies?”

“Mie Ying is a little different from you. She went through some things...”

“What things?”

“Wait until you are feeling better.” Doctor Yu Ran clearly did not wish to continue the subject.

Hua Sheng’s expression was wooden as he asked, “Immortal Master... no, Doctor Yu Ran, when did I first become ill? I’m afraid I’ll never be able to tell what is real and what is false.”

Doctor Yu Ran said, “We visited the orphanage where you grew up. The counselor said you were rather solitary and introverted, so you often talked to yourself. Sometimes you would shut yourself in your room and speak to yourself the whole day.”

“And then I was sent here?”

“At first everyone thought it was nothing. It’s only natural for a child to be absorbed in his own world. But as you grew older, you still could not distinguish fantasy from reality. You would often run alone to a Starbucks and say you were refining some immortal elixir, only to be brought back by the police. Once you even slipped secretly onto the subway tracks. Fortunately, the cameras caught it, and the staff rescued you in time. That incident shut down the line for more than two hours. Another time you stood on the edge of a rooftop, and security had to rescue you. So you were sent here.”

Hua Sheng could recall fragments of these events. He knew those places clearly, and in his mind they had all seemed reasonable. Once the brain deceives itself, there is no resisting it.

“So that’s how it is. Can I see what else is in my drawer?”

“Of course.” Doctor Yu Ran opened the desk by Hua Sheng’s bed. Beneath the papers he had already seen, there were other items.

A pair of Sony noise-canceling headphones and a music player.

The nurse said, “We gave those to you together for your birthday. You really like pop songs, especially two idol groups. One is a boy band called Brave, and the other is a girl group called Hope.”

Hua Sheng put on the headphones and looked through the music player. The first track on the screen was titled “Cosmic War Hymn.” He played it, and a familiar melody flowed into his ears, a melody that felt as though he were hearing it for the first time, and yet also as though he had heard it a hundred times before.

He continued searching through the other drawers, where he found books on Daoist teachings, Buddhist studies, and quantum mechanics. Looking at these things, he slowly began to understand.

All that is present is the continuation of what once was.

All that existed in his dreams was only a reflection of the real world. Those familiar faces were nothing more than people and events he had once encountered. Like in a multidimensional space, the same things could give others feelings entirely different from his own.

He had lived the real world as if it were the fairyland of Saint Nanning.

“I understand now.” Hua Sheng felt utterly drained, without the slightest strength left in him.

The anesthetic in the shattered thigh bone gradually wore off, and intense pain surged in. It was so real that Hua Sheng suddenly realized he had not felt pain this genuine for a very long time. Perhaps it was precisely because everything before had been unreal.

He removed the headphones and said, “I want to rest for a while.”

“Now that you’re awake, that is enough.” Doctor Yu Ran gently held Hua Sheng’s hand. “We believe your illness will improve. Remember this: do not believe in immortals or fairylands anymore. Remember that this is a hospital, and the doctors and nurses all care about your health and hope you recover soon. Never give up on yourself.”

“Mm.”

When the three doctors left the ward, they left Hua Sheng a few tablets and made a note on his medication record form. It read: Name: Hua Sheng. Sex: Male. Age: 17. Bed No.: 991248.

After taking several pills, Hua Sheng felt utterly exhausted in body and mind. He had no strength left to think back on anything. He grabbed a pen from the desk and, with fierce determination, wrote a few words on his arm:

Never believe in gods and immortals!

The sharp tip of the pen cut deeply into his skin, and blood stained his sleeve.

Day after day passed. Under the attentive care of the doctors and nurses, Hua Sheng’s body slowly recovered. He insisted on getting up at five each morning and going to bed at half past eight at night. During the day, the nurses would wheel him downstairs for a walk. Once his foot injury had improved, Doctor Yu Ran brought him a pair of crutches, and he often leaned on them to shuffle back and forth from his bed.

He discovered that although the real world was imperfect, it had its own loveliness.

Everything was becoming more and more satisfying, more and more complete.

Yet he had not forgotten Mie Ying. Because Mie Ying had once called out his name, they must have known each other.

During one walk, as he passed a ward on his crutches, he saw Mie Ying sitting alone on her bed in a daze. Her hair had changed to a dark red. In her hands she held two glass marbles. Sunlight streamed in through the window ledge, making the marbles glitter as if she were holding two beams of light.

Her sharp gaze was gone, replaced by vacancy. She simply stared blankly at the sky outside, not blinking once. It was as though she had already soared into that blue expanse, like a carefree little bird.

“Mie Ying? Are you Mie Ying?” Hua Sheng slowly walked in.

Seeing him, Mie Ying cried out, “Hua Sheng? Hua Sheng! Where did you go?”

“I’ve been here all along.”

“I hadn’t seen you in so long, I thought you were gone.” Her eyes shone with delight.

“I think I won’t be going anywhere for a very long time.”

“That’s great.” Mie Ying smiled, her face seeming to bloom like a flower so intoxicating it could steal the soul. “My Seventh Sister misses you very much.”

“Seventh Sister?”

“You don’t remember? If you don’t, she’ll be angry. I’ll tell her later and see what you do then,” said Mie Ying, her hair now dark red.

“You’re sisters, I mean...” Hua Sheng hesitated.

Mie Ying said, “Did you forget? There are nine of us sisters in all.”