Chapter Eighty-Nine: Stay Still! I’m Reading Your Bones and Fortune-Telling

The little nurse buckled her seat belt, adjusted her bangs in the rearview mirror, and then stole a glance at Ren Qian’s profile.

Today he was in a suit, dark glasses, and leather boots. A textbook domineering CEO. Not bad, not bad at all.

"I heard a man with one hand on the wheel looks especially handsome. Look at me! Have you been so captivated by my personal charm that you’ve secretly developed feelings for me, your heart fluttering like a startled deer, even to the point of wanting to devote yourself to me and be my little bed-warmer?"

The little nurse rolled her eyes and stared coldly ahead. To deal with Ren Qian’s little tricks, the only answer was indifference. Ignore him, or he would get carried away, climb higher on the ladder once given a foothold, and eventually start spouting all kinds of filthy jokes.

"Where are we going?"

"To buy a house."

"Oh right, have you picked out a house for your father and mother?"

"Still calling them my father and mother?"

"Have you picked out a house for your father and mother?"

"Of course. A villa in the development zone, near the subway and the university town. Better value than the old one."

...

"Get out! I just remembered—you don’t even have a driver’s license! Who let you drive around showing off?"

The gentle little nurse was, after all, a woman trained in martial arts. Even a casual punch from her had enough force to make Ren Qian grimace for quite a while.

Sure enough, he could not stay cool for more than three seconds.

Ren Qian sheepishly took off his sunglasses and surrendered the driver’s seat. When he first met his father-in-law, he had joked with a grin, "Father-in-law, you really are funny. More than twenty years ago you dug a pit, and more than ten years ago you dug another, and in the end I jumped into both of them."

He had not expected his words to come true.

"You’re talking bad about me?!"

The little nurse’s sudden accusation startled Ren Qian. Could a woman’s intuition really be this outrageous? He had merely formed a thought in his mind, and she had caught it. This was practically a superpower. No wonder catching adulterers in the act was so common. By this intuition alone, even hiding spare cash was a problem, let alone keeping a mistress in a golden house.

Ren Qian froze for a moment, and the little nurse gave him an enigmatic look.

"Hahaha... A few days ago I met a master of physiognomy. He said my bones and structure are exceptional, that I have the potential to understand yin and yang, the eight trigrams, the strange gates and hidden armor, to know astronomy above and geography below, and to foresee five hundred years into the past and five hundred years into the future. He wanted to take me as his disciple, but I refused."

The little nurse: "..."

"Hey, why aren’t you asking why I refused? You should know, if I followed him into the deep mountains and wilderness and came back after learning from him, I’d be as clever as Zhuge Liang, able to command strategy from afar and win victory a thousand miles away. Pretty awesome, right?"

"Isn’t the clever one Wu Yong?"

"More or less the same idea."

The little nurse: "..."

"Don’t drive yet. Let me read your face first."

As soon as he said that, Ren Qian fell into thought for a moment, then lifted the little nurse’s delicate hand. By now it was already warm spring, and she wore a trench coat over a light long-sleeved top with a low neckline.

What a soft, smooth hand. He was only taking the opportunity to get a little touch for himself.

"Isn’t this supposed to be reading my face? Why are you taking my pulse too?"

The little nurse was tickled by his touch.

"Physiognomy is vast and profound. Have you heard of fortune-telling by bone-touching? By feeling the bones of the hand, one can infer whether a person’s yin and yang are in harmony; by feeling the bones of the feet, one can judge a person’s spirit and temperament; and the most remarkable is feeling the central bones, which can reveal wealth and fortune, and help avoid blessing and calamity. There is a saying in physiognomy that the method of feeling the central bones must not be passed on, but my master passed it on to me."

Ren Qian spoke with utter seriousness, sounding perfectly convincing. The little nurse looked at him with half-belief and half-doubt. In this world, there was no sweeping campaign against superstition from the sixties. In truth, even after superstition was supposedly rooted out, there were still those who believed in it. That great swindler who had wormed his way into high society was proof enough.

If you were good at bluffing, even black could be turned white! Ren Qian clearly had the makings of a grand boss in a pyramid scheme. The words he spoke were so convincing that even he himself nearly believed them.

"That mystical? Then let me try..."

The little nurse scooted closer to Ren Qian.

"Then I’ll just feel it. While I’m doing it, try not to interrupt me. Otherwise I’ll suffer a backlash..."

Ren Qian put on the air of someone about to channel inner force, clasped the little nurse’s hand, and in his heart it was as though a hundred beauties fresh from the bath were all preening and posing for him, while wicked fire blazed in his lower abdomen and made him want to pounce on her at once and die beneath the peony.

Tsk, tsk.

Just look at that fair little hand, smooth as congealed cream, boneless as jade, like a work of art carved with exquisite care. To win such a beauty—what more could one ask for?

Well, after all that, Ren Qian had simply found a righteous excuse to grope her in broad daylight. He frowned and played the part of a mystic, but in truth he was watching the nurse’s reactions. Since she had not realized his real intention, he grew bolder still.

"Hmm... you’ve recently suffered a blood-colored calamity!"

Ren Qian suddenly declared it with iron certainty, frightening the little nurse, whose body had already gone half numb with tingling sensation.

"I haven’t had any blood-colored calamity... Don’t talk nonsense, that’s so unlucky... ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!"

The little nurse stuck out her tongue repeatedly. What kind of fortune-telling was this? To open with, "You have a blood-colored calamity"—if this were on the street, she would have kicked over the fortune-teller’s stall by now.

And with that mouth, he still wanted to tell fortunes?

"No, no... things involving blood count too, like, for example..."

Ren Qian showed an expression that said, you know what I mean.

The little nurse suddenly understood. So it was that time of the month—yes, that really did count as a blood-colored calamity...

But how did Ren Qian know? He had been busy those days, and she had not told him at all.

Could he really have divined it by bone-touching? Thinking this, her suspicion finally vanished without a trace.

"It seems you really did learn some genuine skill."

Ren Qian laughed without stopping. Of course he had learned genuine skill.

Before conning people, fortune-tellers would always disguise themselves and go ask around to gather information.

He had done his own preparation too—by chance, he had seen blood in the bathroom trash bin.

"Let me predict your fortune and misfortune, your wealth and luck..."

Ren Qian took the opportunity to push ahead, sliding his hand toward the little nurse’s waist. He dared not advance too abruptly; he had to proceed step by step, consolidating each gain. If she did not mind, then only would he attempt the next move. He understood the principle that haste makes no good tofu.

"Is this the central-bones method?"

"A part of it. As the saying goes, 'A willow waist is the bone of a blessed life, bringing prosperity to one’s husband.'"

"I’m telling you, girl, you’ve got wonderful fortune. You found an excellent boyfriend, and you bring prosperity to your husband too. Put the two together, and you’ll have a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment!"

The little nurse laughed in delight, turning her head to look at Ren Qian with eyes full of tenderness. The glow in her gaze nearly made him suffocate.

That soft press of her red lips, the sudden appearance of dimples—it was enough to make a person’s heart drift and dream.

"So... do you believe me now?"

"I believe you!"

"Let me show you my special skill! This time it’s the key part of the central-bones technique! Do not interrupt me! The consequences will be severe!"

Seeing that the groundwork was nearly complete, Ren Qian reached out, blew on his hand once, and then, as swift as lightning, placed it on the little nurse’s soft breasts...

"What are you doing?!"

The little nurse was shocked and embarrassed, and there was a faint urge to cripple Ren Qian with one slap.

"Girl, don’t move! I’m reading bones and telling fortunes. Here lies the source of food for newborn babies. In physiognomy it is said, 'A poor chest’s bones let infants starve to death.' Girl, your bones here are excellent. They can at least nourish a pair of twins, one boy and one girl. According to physiognomy, the two of us should have twins..."

"Twins? I like that... All right! Take it away!"

The gentle little nurse’s cheeks flushed crimson. She murmured a few words, then hurriedly pushed away his warm hand.

...

Tsk, tsk...

So satisfying.

Truly satisfying.

It was utterly unforgettable.

The only regret was that, through the clothes, it was still not quite enough. If only he could have reached inside... how wonderful that would have been.